So, does anyone else eat their apple cores? For as long as I can remember I've always eaten the whole apple - all I have left at the end is the stalk and the pips. In fact I used to even eat those, but I once heard that a man ate a whole saucer of apple pips and DIED. And eating the stalk was just downright unpleasant.
But still I can't imagine
not eating the core. Certainly it's a little tough in places, and it sometimes looks a trifle ... otherworldly ..., but I can't get around the idea of leaving it. I've seen people who leave half the apple behind on the core and the sight makes me shudder: all that sweet sweet apple flesh gone to waste - abhorrent!
But even if you're having a good try at getting as much apple from around the core as possible, where does one stop? There is always more apple to be retrieved even if it in increasingly infinitesimal portions (I'm sure there is a pertinent philosophical or mathematical point to make here, though at present it escapes me), but the idea of nibbling off such tiny pieces as the last bites one gets of the apple seems a rather inadequte conclusion to an otherwise exemplary experience. Much like finding a pip in the last segment of satsuma, the whole fruit is ruined!
Far better, say I, to mine straight to the core and eat it as soon as possible (being careful to spit out those fiendishly toxic seeds of death). This leaves half the apple, untouched - pristine and core-less - and the eater is free to consume it at his or her leisure, taking bites as large or as small as he pleases, and without the experience being clouded by the neccessity of solving complex philosophical or mathematical problems at the same time.
Many have expressed suprise upon viewing my apple eating techniques, but I say, do not revile me - salute me! For I have seen the future - and it is corenivarous!
scandalous WASTE!
